Friday, February 25, 2011

judah update

isn't he DARLING?! o.k. i'm a tad biased, but i just think he's adorable. maybe cuz he slept two four hour stretches last night he's lookin' extra cute to me:)
judah turned six weeks old on wednesday. so many of you have been so kind to ask about him and especially his health. he is doing well, and as you can see...he is feeding WELL. even through our hospital stay and all the chaos, he continued to gain weight. the doctors were surprised, but i wasn't. we just grow big children in my family. judah is no exception.
he weighed in a tiny 7 lbs. 12 oz. at birth. i thought maybe, just maybe, he wouldn't be the off the charts sized child we were used to, but after just two weeks i knew that was just a dream. he was 9 lbs. 2 oz. at his two week appointment. at 4 weeks, after his bout with RSV he was 10 lbs. 7 oz. he is now 6 weeks and at this rate i am guessing he is about 12 pounds. he's huge! he's speeding through clothes and is barely fitting into 3 month sized outfits and really the 6 month ones are where he's at.
to gain this much weight, he eats. a lot. and often. this has provided lots of time for snuggling and gazing into his eyes gorgeous blue eyes. this is especially meaningful for me as i struggled so much after my first delivery and wasn't able to enjoy my baby at all. this time around has been incredibly healing and most definitely worth its own blog post.
thanks to all of you who have shown such deep care and love for our precious little one. we are so blessed to be surrounded by you.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

tortilla soup


so my cooking/baking mojo is BACK! not that i'm great at either of these things, but i can follow a recipe and get decent results. not so during pregnancy. everything i touched came out mysteriously "off". things i've made sucessfully dozens of times came out wrong. it was very frustrating, but i'm so glad it was only temporary. one of the first things i made (because i was so blessed by friends bringing me meals) was tortilla soup the other night. yum! i forgot how good this was and how good for you. i thought you may like to try it too...

Tortilla Soup

2 quarts chicken broth

1 can tomato paste

4 cloves crushed garlic

2 cups chopped/shredded chicken, cooked (leftovers work)

black beans

sea salt and pepper to taste

cook 20-30 minutes

add 1/4-1/3 cup lime juice and serve

top with chips, avocado, cilantro, cheese, sour cream, etc

Friday, February 18, 2011

peace on earth, part four?


i am so thankful for the wonderfully encouraging responses i got to my last few entries. it is so comforting to know i'm not alone and such a blessing to think that other people want to work on being intentional with their time as well.
my friend jeana wrote a post yesterday about her "to-don't" list. it is a fascinating concept and you can read her thoughts here. it was so healing for me to see this woman that i respect and think is a wonderful mom, fabulous wife, faithful follower of Christ, and very creative generous person actually doesn't "do" it all. wow. really? she DOESN'T make dinner? you have to read it. it spurred all kinds of ideas in me of what i could NOT do. i felt lighter just reading it. i'd love to hear your reactions to her beautiful transparency. thank you, jeana!

Thursday, February 17, 2011

peace on earth part three?

going through my daily blog exercise (scrolling through all my favorite blogs and reading what looks interesting) i headed over to domestic fashionista. i really like her blog because it has lots of fun decorating ideas, but also shares the life of a newly married couple who is striving to live a simple, loving, frugal life. i am often inspired by the posts there but never as much as today, especially in light of what i've been thinking on as of late. click here to read her thoughts...

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

peace on earth, part two

my pregnancy was a difficult one. i was in bed about 22/7 for months. i had to strip my life of everything "non-essential". this meant even our new puppy- truly (my) man's best friend, my two jobs that were bringing in significant income for our family, and our foster son. i couldn't care for myself let alone anyone else. i was isolated and worse, i was unproductive. it drove me crazy. but i couldn't do anything about it. as the months wore on and my sickness passed, my energy never returned. simply taking a shower and blow drying my hair required rest breaks. for the first (and last) time all of my children were in school at the same time and gave me amazing "free time" every day, but most days i sat on the couch or took a nap. i felt so guilty. but something was changing. there was peace in our home. peace like we've never experienced. voices were low. arguments were few. rushing was non-existant. we were spending less money. feeling less tense. fuses that once were short now took long to ignite. eggshells were not under our feet. the difference was palpable.
then, the baby arrived. with delivery came back my energy. wow! it felt GOOD. there was so much excitement. so many things i wanted to do. people to see. time to make up for. sure, he slowed me down a bit, but i had a carseat and a diaper bag. we were good to go! and go we did. it felt great! i felt worthwhile again. i was getting stuff done. people were happy with me. i was saying "yes".
and then, judah got a fever. i wasn't too concerned, but a fever in a newborn is an automatic trip to the ER. we loaded up the boys and prepared for several hours in a crowded waiting room. but, as soon as i checked in and before sonny had even parked i was already seeing a doctor. within minutes judah was on oxygen and blood work, nasal swab, catheter, x-ray, and spinal tap were being ordered. after enduring the horror of all of those things a gurney and two paramedics were strapping his carseat in for a ride in the ambulance to a hospital with a NICU. the next three days were truly the worst ones i have endured. of course, our world stopped. i don't know what we had planned for those days, but we weren't there.


the day we were released was so exciting, and also happened to be the "blizzard of the century". the entire city shut down for almost a week. judah and i didn't leave the house. i then started to want to get out, but realized (with help from my husband and pediatrician) that judah really shouldn't be going anywhere. since he feeds every hour and a half or so, this really limits my freedom. as if to answer that longing, there was another blizzard. more snow days. more staying at home. immediately after the snow days the boys' school had mid winter break.
today is two weeks from our release from the hospital. i went to a preschool valentine's party and took noah to a movie once in those two weeks. otherwise i have not stepped foot outside my house. today i was planning on it. i was going to go out and be productive. i was going to get things done. it was going to feel so good.
for some reason, i just did not feel peace. i felt conflicted. but i pressed on. i was going to do this. i had an appointment and i couldn't let the person down. i had already rescheduled due to our hospital stay and i am reliable. i keep my word. i get stuff done.
i opened my blog to check for any new posts from my favorite blogs and decided to check on my posts. what could i write about this week? then i saw the draft from december that i posted yesterday. hmmmm. could all of these circumstances have a theme? could they all be telling me something?
i canceled the appointment. i wrote this post. and now i'm left to sort through what i think all this means. could i have an unhealthy need to do stuff? do i get much of my self worth from the opinions of other people? am i afraid to slow down because of what i might find in the quiet?
i think so.
have i been convicted to do less before? most definitely. i've even pared down my schedule and become less busy. it was a step in the right direction, but nothing has so radically changed how i live as the past 10 months have. it would be so easy, so natural, to just pick up where i left off, but then i would have learned nothing.
to parent in the way that i want to, i need energy. i need patience. i need time. i have none of those things when i am "doing". to be the wife i want to be i need to listen. i need to be calm. i need time. these are the things i want to be about. these are the things i want to be "busy" with. CAN i get it all done? yes. i've proven that before. i can accomplish a lot. and i get a lot of praise for doing it. and i love it. sadly, it leaves less of me for what matters most.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

peace on earth

i started this blog entry so many times. first this summer. then again in the fall. the latest attempt was right before christmas. i don't know why it was so difficult to finish. i guess it just felt so big. so important. and maybe i didn't really want to hear the message myself. it scares me. but recent events have confirmed it AGAIN and i think maybe i need to go ahead and put it out there. here is what i wrote in december...

we hear the message, "slow down, let things go, do less" a lot especially during this season. it's a great reminder and i know we all nod and agree that we should. uh-huh, definitely. i need to have less stress. o.k. that one goes on the "to-do" list! yup. i'm gonna do that too. after i get everything else done.
i've heard this wisdom for years but i pride myself on getting it all done. and i like to do it. and others like what i do. we have a good thing going on. speaking of good. all the stuff i do is good. all the things on my checklist are commendable. the problem comes when all that good stuff turns up the heat. you know what i mean. it starts to stress me out. i've lived this way for so long, i don't even realize i'm stressed. this is normal. this is good. i get it all done. i didn't know it was effecting me (or those around me) until one day pregnancy said "you can't".

that is all i got down on "paper" but i felt there was so much more to say. there was more to say. and unbeknownst to me, there was more that God had to say on the subject in my life. as i started writing, it got pretty lengthy so i'm going to break this post up. thank you for bearing with me as i muddle my way through circumstances, feelings, and how i will live in the future. i don't have it all figured out yet.

Monday, February 14, 2011

mommy date

noah and i went to the movies just the two of us this saturday. we saw "gnomeo and juliet" in 3D. we ate popcorn, sipped soda, and laughed at the cheesy humor of the movie. the truth is, it didn't really matter what we did. it was just so special (and so different) to be with only him. i'm sure we all "know" that having one-on-one time with our kids is important, but i had forgotten just how critical it was. i saw noah with completely fresh eyes and was reminded of all the things i love so much about him. he was no longer someone who made messes, bothered the baby, or interrupted my dinner prep. he was the sweet, smiling, object of my affection who i couldn't take my eyes off of.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

comedy central

noah (age 5): "knock, knock"
me: "who's there?"
noah: "why can't kids cook?"
me: "why?"
noah: "no, it's a knock, knock, joke"
me: "oh...why can't kids cook who?"
noah: "cuz they could burn theirselves..." (uproarious laughter at his own joke)

Friday, February 11, 2011

snuggletime

just thought you'd like to see what we've been spending most of our time doing lately...
cuddling
photo shoots
being sleepy
catching a few zzzs whenever we can

Thursday, February 10, 2011

happy heart day!

the boys celebrated valentine's day at school today since friday and monday are vacation days. they passed out these cellophane tubes of festive m&ms with a little love note attached!

Sunday, February 6, 2011

oh happy day!

Ari FINALLY lost his first tooth at 8 years and 3 months of age. he could not be happier to make this rite of passage.