we were invited to a puppet themed birthday party today. you could make a puppet to be entered in the puppet parade and contest. the boys chose to do the mario brothers.
i don't do things like this with them often, because all i can see is the mess. each moment there is a new item out of place, needing to be put away, potentially going to spill.when i see those things my blood pressure goes up, my patience goes down and i can no longer see my children. my anxiety takes over and i start becoming a mouth barking orders. not a mother.
i start seeing my children as only mess makers. as only reluctant cleaner-uppers. i lose all humanity in those moments.
mine. and theirs.
i've started a secret challenge to myself. i want to look my children in the eyes. it's sad to realize how many minutes and hours i can go without actually doing that. i can feed, clothe, bathe, instruct, and read to them without ever making real eye contact. the moment that i pause and do just that, humanity floods in. they are again people. my people. my babies. i don't bark at my babies. i relate to them. i SEE them. not the mess. not the work it will cause me. just them.
p.s. my babies won in the "funniest puppet" category. a memory that will last much longer than the glue that is now stuck in my carpet.