1. model healthy boundaries-no one gets to touch, handle, or look at me in a way that makes me uncomfortable. we all know our children learn the majority of what they believe from observing us, so let's show them we are confident in our limits and take charge of how we are treated in all areas, not just sexually. the example that hit me hardest was that of an infant being held by a relative and exhibiting signs of discomfort...crying, arching back, etc. now, i would always have just let the baby continue being held for fear of hurting the adult's feelings and i would make up some excuse as to why the child was crying. the message i am sending it, those who are bigger, stronger, and older have the power over your body. it is futile for you to express discomfort because it will change nothing. now please don't think i'm saying that you have set your child up for abuse if you've done this (i've done this many times) i'm just trying to give you an example of how children perceive things. they are smaller, weaker, and always at the mercy of adults. if there are times we can give them some control, especially over their bodies, it will go a long way to build their confidence and ability to say "i don't like that."