Monday, January 25, 2010

"meat and potatoes"

when we were training for therapeutic foster care the social worker told us that the average "honeymoon" lasted about ten days and then foster parents reported the "meat and potatoes" portion of their experience began. well...we like to over achieve and we blasted right out of honeymoon and dove deep into those meat and potatoes after just FOUR days! yup. it's official.
they look so sweet and innocent, don't they? well, they are, but they're also both dealing with a whole lotta change and transition to their little lives that they never signed up for. that kind of shock to one's system requires some acting out, doncha think?
here they are searching for ants together. they're also searching for time, attention, and affirmation. stability, love, and guidance would be good too. it's a lot for one momma to handle. the weekend was rough. today has been a bit better with the return of routine and not so much "together" time. i also got to see a bit of an angry and non-compliant side of matthew which sounds like trouble, but was actually quite refreshing and easier to handle after the days of constant fake smiles, begging for love, and high pitched whining. thank you all for being the kinds of friends who i can share this with. it isn't all romantic, this reaching out to traumatized children. yeah, it can be great and very rewarding, but trudging through the day to day can make you want to poke your eye out with a stick. or as my favorite parent of traumatized children would say..."let's face just wanna poke out THEIR eye with a stick".
so yeah. we'll keep trudging ahead and i'l be removing the sticks from my reach:)


C and G said...

you're a strong mommy!!!

Tonya said...

Hee hee, you are so funny. Thanks for sharing, the ups and the downs, of your adventure. I am quite sure that the challenges are difficult and sometimes it seems like an uphill battle, but you are an amazing woman and you can do it!! If you ever need to drop them off for a playdate, let me know. I'm not close, but I would be happy to take them for a while so you can get some you time. Or if you need one on one time with either of the little guys, you can drop one of them off for some play time with Starla! I've had training with dealing with troubled and/or challenging children! :) Just let me know, I would be more than happy to help.

P.s Does this mean you are finding your blogging mojo again? I'm so excited that you haven been blogging more recently! :)

Becky said...

Hang in there Kristal. Praying that the days will go better real soon. A friend of mine just posted the You Tube version of the song "He Is With You" with pictures from google and lyrics on the bottom of it- You have to check it out. It is a awesome reminder that no matter what we are going through Jesus is there! Hang in there and feel free to email or vent any time. With love and prayers- Becky

Liz said...

That last part made me laugh! You are such a great person for daring to go into the unknown and add so much love to your life. I feel like my life is so much richer for knowing you and all of your kindness.

darbishar said...

It really is sad that situations like this have to happen, but the world sure is lucky that there are people like you out there making the best of them. Know that I am here and if you need to vent, drop off a kid or two, or anything else just give me a ring :)

Melissa said...

Praying for all of you!!