when we were training for therapeutic foster care the social worker told us that the average "honeymoon" lasted about ten days and then foster parents reported the "meat and potatoes" portion of their experience began. well...we like to over achieve and we blasted right out of honeymoon and dove deep into those meat and potatoes after just FOUR days! yup. it's official.
they look so sweet and innocent, don't they? well, they are, but they're also both dealing with a whole lotta change and transition to their little lives that they never signed up for. that kind of shock to one's system requires some acting out, doncha think?
here they are searching for ants together. they're also searching for time, attention, and affirmation. stability, love, and guidance would be good too. it's a lot for one momma to handle. the weekend was rough. today has been a bit better with the return of routine and not so much "together" time. i also got to see a bit of an angry and non-compliant side of matthew which sounds like trouble, but was actually quite refreshing and easier to handle after the days of constant fake smiles, begging for love, and high pitched whining. thank you all for being the kinds of friends who i can share this with. it isn't all romantic, this reaching out to traumatized children. yeah, it can be great and very rewarding, but trudging through the day to day can make you want to poke your eye out with a stick. or as my favorite parent of traumatized children would say..."let's face it....you just wanna poke out THEIR eye with a stick".
so yeah. we'll keep trudging ahead and i'l be removing the sticks from my reach:)