Friday, July 4, 2008

what i want you to know, part 2

so, i re-read yesterday's post becuase i felt all insecure and almost pulled it off. i decided to leave it up, praying it would be read with the intent i wrote it in and focus on todays post of how people can minister to their pastoral staff and especially their families. these people are falling left and right and if they haven't fallen, they are being attacked. i desperately want those attacks to lessen and come from outside the church, not within.

ok. let's rock. i'm going to bullet cuz i could get really long-winded.

*and i quote (a current pastor's wife)-"give the benefit of the doubt". when in doubt...assume the best about your pastor, his wife, children, heck, even their dog:) if you know your pastor's heart is one that seeks God, then choose to believe the best. perceptions and gossip are often not true and can cut so deeply. if you hear someone else mentioning anything about your pastor or his family, no matter how small, take that opportunity to brag on them. find something positive to say. if you are really bothered by something the pastor/leader does-go to him/her and please not to anyone else.

*invite your pastor's wife to things. she seems very in demand, but she may be craving relationship, a chat over coffee, a compliment. please be very gracious and understanding if she is too overextended and can't attend. drop her a note and a starbucks card instead.
that's enough. i'll stop now. i'm just passionate about this topic right now. i hope i am for a long while so that i can use the insight God's given me to serve families in professional ministry.
thanks for getting through this with me. i promise not to tell you "what i want you to know" for a long time:)

*sunday mornings. wow. that came up repeatedly when i talked with pw's. this is a crazy time. if at all possible, talk to your pastor's wife about anything significant on any other day of the week. she is much more likely to retain what you say. if your pastor's family includes children who are in sunday school-type programs in the morning you could really relieve a lot of pressure by setting up some way for the children to be signed out and even given a snack for a few minutes while the parents field questions, meet visitors, etc. pastors children experience a whole different set of challenges i'm sure, and that's a topic for another time:) it is just very challenging to try and pick up multiple children in multiple wings of the building while each couple of steps brings another person that wants to talk to you. and that you want to talk to! this is your very small sliver of time to connect with your church body.
alright. i'll quit. thanks for hanging with me this far. i promise i won't tell you "what i want you to know" for quite a while:)


Jeana said...

What if we beg you to tell us what you want us to know? Because I think this is awesome. Geary was a youth pastor for 2 years when we first got married and we still have bruises from that experience. Your advice here is so right on. I especially like the part about taking the opportunity to brag on your pastor/leader. As the youth pastor's wife it was SO discouraging to only hear negative things about my husband (and myself). When we left the church and people told us how much they loved us it was really difficult to believe them.

Jo said...

Good grief, girl. You better not take any of these posts off-- just add to them! This is what I was waiting for! I'm so glad I finally checked back in. While I get started on these suggestions, can you please give us more? Your insight (while these things may seem obvious to you) is priceless for the rest of us. Love ya.