Wednesday, April 9, 2008

dinner and hope


they look like ordinary people, but don't let them fool you. they are ray and tamara lubeck, slowly and profoundly actually changing the world in the name of Christ. sonny and i are literally different people because of the both of them.

they graced us with their presence at my favorite restaurant of late, manzana grill, and let us pour out the things on our hearts. one of the things i brought up was the extent of hurt i feel over all of the men who have "fallen" from their position because of sin in the last year and a half. while ray and tamara were compassionate and saddened by these blows, they would not let us leave without reminded us of the One who will never fail. even though he gives us wonderful people who remind us of him...he is the only one who will never disappoint. never choose momentary pleasure over my well-being. never be unfaithful to his bride. never.

those were words to marinate in and soak up for a long while, but then tamara added something more. she looked me in the eyes and said..."it would crush us if we found out you had broken your covenant. we love you and think so much of you and it would devastate us so much more to hear sonny and kristal had done this than all of the other people you named". some of the people who have let me down were also in the lives of the lubecks. still, tamara chose to look at me with desperation, begging me to understand the impact my choices have on her and so many others. wow. i was still. what truth she spoke to me. what weight my little life has, what gravity my choices hold.

part three coming tomorrow...

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